Note to self: plastic surgery is your friend.

I got a new iPhone yesterday. I had a Blackberry that I loved dearly, and then my company decided we were all joining the Applevolution and we'd all be hooking up to white cords.

So they sent me the iPhone, and I cursed my way through the first day, accidentally making phone calls I didn't want to make and whatnot.

Then I remembered something. My friends with iPhones love the cameras! So I whipped that baby out, ready to snap some super cute shots of my brood. I was looking for a zoom feature, when I clicked a little button in the top righthand corner, and BAM. My life changed. That button wasn't a zoom. It was this freaky ability to flip the lens facing towards you!

Now, I know what you're going to say. Duh! What did you think? But honestly, it was a shock to see it in such black and white terms.

I look like hell. That's it in a nutshell. I am haggard. Aged.



Two years ago I didn't look like this. In no other two years of my life have I aged this quickly except maybe when I was four.



Look at the annotated pictures. The primary creases. The jowls. The bag under my right eye.

I am seriously distressed. I knew the last two years had been rough on me, but I had no idea just exactly how rough until tonight. I guess I should probably never touch that button again, eh? And I'm going to book a vacation. I can't breathe right now from all the fun goings on. I need to take a breath.

- H