Make some idle chitchat, dammit!

You know, I think idle small talk is a lost art. I noticed this this evening at a dinner party I attended. I was in line for food and another woman I work with was right behind me. So I made chit-chat with her, and I could tell if I had not done it she would not have. And she was slightly uncomfortable with having to talk to me at all.

Which just makes me wonder, why are people so bad at making small talk? It's not hard. Seriously.

All it takes is a little effort to actually remember something about somebody else. Like, for instance, someone could remember about me that I have two small boys. I remember those details about people. Then when I'm in a social setting with them, I'm able to conjure up that data out of the depths of my brain and actually ask them about their children. It's amazing.

If I sound bitter, well, it's because I am.

I just get irritated with sales people who are really super bad at small talk. I mean, Jeez Loupete, what the H have you been doing your entire career but remembering things about people (not to mention remembering the people themselves) and talking to them? Why does it suddenly become difficult to do this simple task when you're with colleagues and not customers?

So I think everyone should practice this lost art, the skill of the idle chit chat. It doesn't matter if you like the person you're chatting with. It's just a moment in time, a moment to leave a nice impression on someone else.

And you know what else? People love to talk about themselves. If you ask someone a detail about their lives and let them talk, you'll see their faces change, their posture change. Their eyes light up when you remember their name, or you remember a personal detail about them, or you ask them a question about how they're doing with a certain struggle they've had.

Hey, Linda, it's good to see you! How's your elbow, did it heal up after the cast came off?

That's the kind of thing I'm talking about.

I don't mean that anyone needs to be insincere at all. If you seriously can't stand someone, idle chitchat isn't necessary. What's necessary then is to remove yourself from their presence.

Oops, I think I might have had an accident, I better run to the potty!

or

Oh my goodness, I totally forgot I left my oven on, better run home!

You know, something along those lines.

So anyway, yeah. I think we all need to practice the art of smalltalk. Except me. I'm good at it. I excel at it. I remember all the little details people tell me about their lives. I can't remember most details of my own life, like the fact that we're out of whole milk and I was supposed to stop and pick it up and get my prescription at the same time, but I remember how many kids virtual strangers have.

I met a guy tonight who coaches his son in baseball. I won't forget that. He also coaches his daughter's basketball team, so if I see him in the wintertime I can ask him about that.

Anyhoo, rant over. Go make some chitchat with someone.