The Poop House

While all of my friends are posting adorable pictures on their blogs today of their sweet families and clean houses, I will be telling an embarassing story of the goings-on in our house this morning.

It's no secret that I am regularly overwhelmed with this house and the stuff inside of it. Stuff includes the humans and one dog.

This morning Griffin slept until almost 7:00! It was heavenly. I forced Cooper to sit quietly and watch Dora so I could lay on the couch with my eyes closed for another hour. Finally, Griffie and my husband staggered out of bed.

Our routine goes like this...first thing, change Griffin's wet diaper. Then feed him.

So I did what I always do. I laid him on the family room floor and unzipped his jammies, unsnapped his onesie (his room is freakishly cold) and flung off his diaper. Cause why wouldn't I? It's always just wet. And you can smell poop, so you know when you have to take extra precautions and lay down a mat or put the child on an Official Changing Table.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

So you can imagine how shocked and disgusted I was after I flung the diaper to realize there was poop in it! And of course, irritated that his onesie now had poop on it. And probably a little on my hand, too.

Well, I cleaned it all up, put him in his new diaper and took the dirty stuff out to the kitchen porch. We put poopy diapers in a grocery bag on the back porch and then take them down to the garbage cans when we go out.

I went and washed my hands. You can feel the suspense building, can't you?

I walked back in to the family room. Griffin was toddling around the coffee table with his binky still in his mouth (thank GOD for that).

And a poop in his hand.

OH MY GOD. Somehow, when I flung the diaper, a turd flung out and landed on the floor, and I didn't see it...or smell it! Griffin found it while I was in the kitchen. We spent the next fifteen minutes scrubbing his hands and the floor, the coffee table, my arms...wherever I looked I got the heebie jeebies! Yuck. Only one other time have I had such a gross poop incident, and it was when Cooper pooped in the tub.

Yeah, you'd think that was the end of our poopscapades for the day, huh? Nah, you'd be wrong.

We all got dressed then, coats on, ready to go out the door for our morning breakfast ritual. My husband grabbed Cooper's shoes by the door to put them on him....and grabbed poop shoes. Cooper's shoe was covered in dog poop. We had played outside yesterday afternoon and he must have spent quite a bit of time dancing in dog poop.

The worst part is that when he came inside, he took his own shoes off right away like a good boy. And I never noticed the dog poop. Maybe there's something wrong with my sinuses?

I've already gotten out the carpet shampooer. I'll be spending most of today sanitizing this disgusting poop house. Yay for me!

Heatherty Featherty