I spent the better part of the last three days trying to clean this godforsaken house so my seventy-one-year-old friend Jean (who is also our cleaning lady) can come on Saturday morning and clean it for reals.
I have seriously done like seventeen loads of laundry and it just keeps coming. What are these people wearing everyday? Two or three different outfits?!
Don't even get me started on the socks. Two feet times four people times seven days equals seven hundred and fourteen socks. Only 32% of which come out with matches. It pisses me off, to be honest.
So since I was working on my New Year's resolutions, I made one for the entire family. You know how some people have the foresight to make their houses shoeless? And when you walk in you have to take your shoes off? Thereby not tracking in any e coli in the form of bird poop or spare motor oil or whatever? Yeah, well, I'm going to implement a nudes only house here . Visitors are excepted, they can keep their clothes on if they want to. I'm going to crank up the heat and celebrate the loss of laundry duties for the rest of this winter. I may change my mind when summer comes and we don't wear socks anymore.
Who are we kidding? I live with three boys and a dog. They'll all love it, letting their wieners flap in the breeze and whatnot. I'll be the one wishing I had my fuzzy socks on.
And while I'm at it, you know what else honks me off? Anyone who says "You just need to give up, girl." Especially if they're my cleaning lady, walking into the middle of a marital argument at 8:00 on a Saturday morning whereby the wife has just been suckerpunched (figuratively) by her husband. Don't you dare tell me I need to roll over. I roll plenty. I'd like to hear someone tell him to roll over for once. For that matter, I'd like to see him roll over for once.
It's possible highly likely I'm suffering from a little bit of hormonal fluctuation this weekend. So what? Bring it on, hormones, I'm not scared.
- H
1/1/10
I resolve to turn my family into nudists
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7 comments:
I just cleaned my house today. Now I think we need to move into a hotel so it stays clean.
I see your hormones and raise you a mother-in-law.
Yeah, it drives me nuts when people tell me to chill on matters related to my spouse. Been there, heard that, have the tshirt.
This is hilarious. I can so relate to the laundry thing! Today I accused my son of sending back the clean clothes I put in his room every day just so he doesn't have to hang them up. How is it possible that a family of 4 can generate as much laundry as we do? And the bigger the kids get, the bigger the clothes, and the fewer that fit into each load.
I think you're onto something with the nudity! Ha.
20 loads a week! Yep, I have counted. More than once just to be sure. When I was pregos with the little people our cleaning lady was from Poland and wore high heels while she cleaned. My house was always beyond perfect when I came home. But I was irritated that she looked so damn good with her painted fingernails, styled hair and cute clothes. She even polished the silver. That was the last straw. Couldn't handle that level of awesomeness in my pregnant state. Had she interfered in the marriage I probably would have kept her!
FOFL!!!!
I have 2 boys (ages 12 & 15)... I sooo know what you mean! And... when it ends up back in the laundry... CLEAN... they've just crossed the line!
I have to share something for socks that has REALLY helped me a lot!
I bought each of us a small rectangular basket...
So I have these four baskets that stay in the laundry room.
When I'm folding clothes, I just throw the socks that belong to each person in their little basket... then later I can do matches... or try to get the boys to do (ha ha... well... it's a goal!)
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