the French are redeeming themselves

As you know, I spent some years of my early childhood living in Switzerland. So obviously, I came away from it with the requisite, very healthy, much warranted distaste for the French. Because stereotypes and prejudice are so helpful and productive. And because when you are Swiss (native or otherwise) you are obviously both morally and financial ly superior to anyone else. Except for the part where they hid money stolen by the Nazis from the jews, but other than that whole holocaust thing.

Not all French people were bad. A French truckdriver managed to save my brother's life, remember that? Or maybe it was two French hippies in a Citroen? We're not really sure.

Not everything about France was bad, even when you lived in Switzerland. Like the food was good. And the chocolate is ok if you like superb chocolate. They make ok bread. Their wine is alright I guess.

I thought maybe it would be cool as an adult to get over my preconceived notions about a nation of snobs (who are we talking about again? now I'm confused). So I subscribed to Marie Claire idees magazine, and the strategy has totally worked.

I got my latest issue today in the mail. The spring issue? The March issue? Damn, it would be a lot better if I read or spoke French.

Behold the beauty, the crafty genius.

Take a look at what they serve up in this lovely - this pastoral scene, for instance. A cute scruffy dog. A woman in a chic garden apron working in a yard fit for a king. Probably drinking wine, too. She has a braid and it looks ok on her, which is a minor miracle because I've only known two or three people in real life who could even remotely pull off a braid and one of them is Willie Nelson. The other is Willie's sister.

The dog has his own outdoor cushion! He probably plays croquet. I think his name is Pouf. And the lady of the house is serving dip with bread cut into spoon shapes and toasted! How genius is that?! You have to try that next time you have a soiree.

I don't think the chickens are real. But I do love me some chickens.

This is one of my favorite things about this magazine - the patterns. At the back they have detailed instructions for any of the projects, be it cross-stitch, embroidery, sewing, knitting, painting. It's kind of sick, really. I love this happy pink and yellow blanket, and you can see the instructions from the back. You can't understand them, but you can see them.

Because it's the spring issue (or is it the Easter issue? I really need to get out Babel Fish), they have a spread on staying beautiful during your pregnancy, and then these beautiful shots of a nursery decorated in a bird theme. Not just an adorable bird mobile - everyone has one of those, please - but a birdcage and little diapes and wipes containers made out of birdhouses. With embroidered birds on things. Sick with cute.

You know how we americains like to use the word bebe in nurseries and we think it's chic? Check it, the French use the word baby. Ironic. It's like a lesson in self-acceptance.

Some more random genius craftiness. Look at these embroidered fabric-covered buttons. They make me want to puke from laziness and also from ugliness. I have no buttons like this.

I even like this little bag, and I don't usually like handmade homemade bags for some reason.

I am not sure what this is. Is it a bag? Is it a softie with a shoulder-strap? Now, besides being totally dangerous to American children (but clearly European children aren't as tempted by drawstrings and such), is it complete and utter genius that a softie would have a shoulder/crossbody strap for carrying along on trips? You be the judge.

I must rest now. The beauty fatigues.

P.S. If you want to see closer pics of a project, email me and I'll send them to you cause I'm nice like that.

- H