Sugarbusters. Also known as I have lost my mind.

Tomorrow I will embark on the Worst Week Of My Life, with the exception of a few other notable weeks that also sucked royally.

I was lamenting to my work friend Christine about my gigantic floppy belly and inability to magically watch pounds evaporate off my body when she suggested I join her and her sister in a Sugarbusters contest.

Contest is a strong word. It's more of a challenge. We have to commit to avoiding sugar and working out six days a week. Six. As in, almost every single day I will have to abstain from my first love in life and will have to actually put an effort into my daily walks with Ruby and possibly even break into a jog.

I got dizzy and don't remember much else except the part where I told her I would do it and gave her sister my email address so she could check up on me every day.* I still contend that it's possible I had a stroke somewhere between when I said "I just can't seem to lose the weight I put on blah blah blah" and when she said "Sugarbusters challenge." Oh, and I forgot the best part.

She does Iron Man.

Seriously. Christine has done three Iron Man triathlons. I don't even run. She tries to be all oh-I'm-just-like-you and pretends to eat pie, but I know we're deep down different. That's ok, though. She was injured once and couldn't run for nine months (gasp!) and instead of running the Oregon Trail she did Sugarbusters. She said her body totally morphed and looked so much better. That's all it took for me, that's when I blacked out and decided it would be worth the pain and if I don't survive it, well at least my kids knew I loved them enough to try to lose some extra flesh flab so I'd be a healthy mom.

So anyway. It was nice knowing you all. Or not knowing you. When I surface again, I shall be lithe. I shall be supple. I shall be healthy. And I shall not eat pie. If I do survive it, I will attempt to share my experience here because if reading about someone else's torture doesn't serve to keep you from eating that last few cups of Cheetos, then nothing will.**

*Do a couple sugar packets in my morning iced tea count as sugar?
**Do Cheetos have sugar? Cause Cheetos sound really good right now.

- H