4/22/09

Go out and gitchasum garden gnomes

When I was finishing college, and shortly thereafter, I dated a guy who had the cutest parents. They were comical. His dad went by the name Big Bob, and he permed his hair.

Big Bob had a way of solving all dilemnas by using his word "gitchasum." Like, for instance, if my car's low-profile tires were balding after 15,000 miles, Big Bob would say "you need to go out and gitchasum Michelins, them'll wear forever."

So I recently decided I've fallen in love with garden gnomes - yes, I do pronounce that gah-nome - and I went out and got me some.

I got a bird feeder gnome. So far my squirrels are lusting after it, devising all sorts of ways to jump from the thinnest branch of the tree onto the cable hung gnome, and the birds haven't touched it. But I'm giving it time. I bet he's intimidating to birds, no? I bet they see him as some sort of Fairy Godfather and they're worried that if they eat his Magic Seeds they'll start singing one pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small...



And then this guy?

He's just the guardian of the garden. Binnie hangs out with him for protection. He's a badass but people underestimate him because of his size. Don't mess with him. He's a sneaky little SOB and when you least expect it, he'll beat your shins with his gigantic stick. I have bruises to prove it. I keep him around because the pigeons with fluffy tails hate him.


They came from Target. Where else?

- H

4 comments:

Marci said...

Cute. I will use the "gitchusum" term from now, as I think it's adorable and I can see how it would solve all problems.

Anonymous said...

Garden Gnomes scare the bejeepers out of me. Does Jumpy Squirrel eat all of the bird food like on Curious George?

Monica said...

I'd totally be scared of the gnomes, but maybe that's because I drink too much wine sitting near the garden? ;)

Unknown said...

Gnomes rank up there with clowns for me....fReAkY!!!! I do like the Travelocity ads though! Big Bob sounds like he was from S.MO or S. IA :)

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