I haven't disappeared

It just may seem that way. My brain has gone blank. Seriously.

I have nothing to write about.

Well, there's always the random wiener stories around here, like how yesterday while I was standing in the driveway holding Griffin and talking to my next door neighbor, Cooper pulled his pants down and peed on my lavender plants. He was standing behind me, so I didn't see it but I'm my neighbor did. What I did see, when I turned around to check on him, was a half-naked boy struggling to pull his pants up over his bum.

And there's always the stories about how Cooper is obsessed with his butt. Purposely putting his hands back there now that he knows it freaks me out. What is he hoping to find? A winning lottery ticket?

I could write about our missing red glofish. Who was here yesterday morning and now is not here and is nowhere to be found in the tank. Did I mention the gigantic freaky snail? He's not glowing red, but I do suspect his involvement in the disappearance. The unfortunate thing is I will have to dismantle the tank this evening and clean it out, something I am not fond of doing. And this time, I know a carcass of a poor red glofish will be my booby prize.

I could write about how I burned the hell out of my arm on a super hot iron yesterday. How I was walking past the ironing board and instead of staying safe I managed to somehow rest my forearm on the tip of the iron at the hottest setting it can go on. I have immense sympathy for burn victims. It hurts like a bitch and will leave a nasty scar. Layers of flesh peeled away.

Or, I could write about how my work-life-balance has suddenly shifted in favor of work again, due to some good news from the FDA. There goes my lazy days without pressure. Welcome back to working for a living.

So, in lieu of writing about any of that, I have decided to write about nothing today. Sorry, friends. Tomorrow I'm sure I'll have something good.
- H