They lie, or also what happens to people once they go to med school

So I cut my foot.

Pretty bad.

I came home from work wearing my most cute if I do say so myself kitten heel sandals with the dragonflies on them. Super cute. Lots of summery skin and toes exposed which is great as far as I'm concerned, despite my need for a bunionectomy on my right foot.

Anyhoodle, I was standing in the kitchen opening one of the sixteen boxes that arrived today, very run of the mill stuff for work. I was using those kitchen scissors that come apart at the center thingy? On purpose? And when they came apart, one of the sides dropped to the ground. No biggee.

Until I stepped on it.

And twisted my ankle, and somehow in that process the damn scissors turned and stabbed me in the side of my heel. Deeply.

I screamed out! NEIL! I'M CUT!

He came rushing into the kitchen to my rescue, in his underwear. Apparently he'd also just returned home from work and was in the process of changing out of his suit when I screamed bloody murder.

He cleaned up the wound, fainted a little, swooned a lot, put a bandaid on it and I went off on my merry way. Until I looked down and realized blood was gushing all over my foot. Dangit. More fainting from Neil.

So we went to the beautiful, clean, brand spanking new prompt care by our house, that has full emergency room care services available, and within thirty minutes I was stitched up and out of there! But not before The Big Lie.

I had a tetanus shot six years ago. Hurt like hell, and they said it would last me ten years.

OH NO. IT DOESN'T. For a stab wound like that, it only lasts five years. So I had a tetanus shot. And some lidocaine shots, all of which hurt like a mother and way more than the stitches they put in my heel to pull me back together. But I believe the doctor called it "a pinch." Apparently she's never had painful shots before, because they feel like painful shots. Not like a pinch.

Too bad the stitches didn't stop the bleeding. I've been losing vital fluids all night, to the point where my husband wrapped my heel in a diaper to keep the blood from ruining our home.

Nice.

- H