Shoot. I thought I had ennui but it turns out I didn't know what that meant.

I had a lovely morning today. I had the day off for the 4th holiday, my mom came and took Griffin for his first date alone with Grandma (a tradition Cooper has enjoyed hugely this past year), and my hubs took Cooper fishing. The fishing only lasted ten minutes but the drive there and back afforded me an entire hour free.

I decided to work on my front yard's landscaping. It's an annual exercise in frustration, whereby I dig up the rocks surrounding the landscaping bed, cut out all the grass and weeds that have snuck under the rocks, and put them back in place. Oh, and I dug out a lot of the stinky chameleon plant I put in years ago and have regretted ever since. If you're ever at the garden nursery, DO NOT succumb to the lure of chameleon plant. Don't say I didn't warn you. Friends don't let friends plant that stinky dirt hog.

Anyhoodle, as I was out there sweating and pulling, swearing and whatnot, I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling. I don't want to call it a psychic moment or anything, because I didn't see anything or learn this week's lottery numbers. I just had a feeling.

It was the strangest thing. I suddenly had this feeling that change is on the wind.

OK, that's sounds dumb. It was a little breezy. No, it felt more like there's a cloud of change coming my way, only I couldn't tell if it was good or bad. It just is.

Ok, this still sounds dumb. Dumb and vague and slightly New-Agey, and for those of you who know me in person I'm not in the slightest bit New Agey.

I don't really know how to describe what it felt like, except maybe that it was a premonition that things for us will change soon? I tend to like change so it doesn't freak me out. In fact, after the events of the last month or two (or thirty-six) it would be kind of nice to have some forward movement (and yes, I'm assuming it'll be forward movement because I'm going to start being an optimist now).

I stood in the yard trying to figure out what to call this feeling, so I decided it was ennui. But then I googled ennui in the car tonight and as it turns out it means a gripping listlessness caused by boredom.

Clearly, that's not going on around here.

- H