Way cool signature site

I found a little coolio site tonight, whilst printing my maps for tomorrow's adventure in paycheck-earning.

It's a site that creates custom signatures for your blog, or your emails, or whatever. They have 120 fonts to choose from! No pressure, right? This should be easy, I thought.

Have you ever looked at or said the same word over and over and suddenly it has lost all its meaning and has become this really weird thing? Yeah, try looking at the word Heather one hundred and twenty times and not see HEAT HER.

But I managed to put together a signature. I think. Check out the freaky scary signatures I could have made...


What's that song? "Psycho killer....quest que cest..." (I can't really spell in French, you know.)

This one is purty close to my actual handwriting...


Or, the lovely serial killer signature...


"We hold these truths to be self-evident... "



In the end, I chose this one. It's kinda boring. I'll prolly re-do it tomorry nite.

Whew, what a relief!

I had to go to a funeral home tonight. A great-aunt of my husband's died last week and tonight was the visitation. I had never met this woman in eight years, but she suddenly was a very very important part of my husband's family. It's amazing how death has the ability to change things, isn't it? So I took the requisite flower arrangement up to the funeral home this afternoon....



Too bad for this. It would have been a much more exciting place had it not been for the firearms ban. Especially after my husband let Griffin fall, conking his head against a concrete floor, causing the entire elderly audience to gasp in horror at my horrible parenting skills. Because when kids hurt themselves, it's always the mom's fault, right?

My son's got a wicked mullet, and other related nonsense

I can't bring myself to cut Griffin's hair. He has this thick, fine, feathery hair that would be so to die for if it was 1988 again. Here he is, checking himself out in a hand mirror.

You can always tell when Griffie has a headache or an earache. Yes, I already called the ENT, he's due for his checkup anyway.

I spent a good portion of this morning commenting on my friends' blogs, and writing down those ridiculous security words you have to use to get your comment posted. One of these days, they are going to make a great story. There's a name for them but I can't remember it. I'm sure Brett will weigh in with what it is. Like gravatar and favicon, it's one of those made-up internetty clickety click words. (By the way, I figured out how to do a favicon this weekend! Check out the address bar, do you see the tree??!!)

I've got a million things to do today, so sadly my ramblings will be short. The hallway stairwell project is nearing completion! Neil finished the drywall mudding last night, so now we can paint and put up the new handrail and voila! I also spent the better part of yesterday painting the bathroom and the kitchen (after cleaning up all the doodoo in the house, yuck). So we're getting closer! The light at the base of the stairs is new.

It's insane to think there's going to be a For Sale sign in my front yard soon. Insane, exciting, terrifying, all of those things. I think I need to go throw up now. Oh, wait, I don't throw up, I have a phobia. Carry on, then.

Heatherty Featherty

I'm bad at math

I was an English major. But I can do some rudimentary stuff if I have to. Like, for instance, I'm good at story problems. Like this one:

Sometime in the fall....

Car Maker C (a privately held company) and Car Makers G and F (publicly traded companies) are travelling to Washington DC to ask Congress for a bailout in the amount of $30 BILLION dollars. Their combined total worth prior to a recent downturn in the automobile market is only $16 billion.


Car Maker F tells Congress they have enough money to keep going, but they are there to support their friends and competitors with Car Maker C and G.

Congress approves some loans for a lesser amount of money, so taxpayers will be loaning Car Maker C, G, and possibly F some billions of dollars in order to keep them afloat. With the budget deficit nearing or over a TRILLION dollars at this point, even CHINA won't buy the bonds the U.S. is trying to sell to raise cash in order to hand it over to these Car Makers.

Fastforward to the winter...

Automobile supply companies have decided getting cash from Congress is a great idea, so they are also heading to Capital Hill to ask for monies in order to stay afloat.

There are approximately 300 million people in the U.S. Imagine if half of those people could drive a car. At this point, it would be cheaper for Congress to buy each qualified adult a car than to loan these companies all of this money. Hmmm...maybe I'll write my Senators again. Or, I could step outside and spit into the wind.

I am stepping outside....

Heatherty Featherty

The Poop House

While all of my friends are posting adorable pictures on their blogs today of their sweet families and clean houses, I will be telling an embarassing story of the goings-on in our house this morning.

It's no secret that I am regularly overwhelmed with this house and the stuff inside of it. Stuff includes the humans and one dog.

This morning Griffin slept until almost 7:00! It was heavenly. I forced Cooper to sit quietly and watch Dora so I could lay on the couch with my eyes closed for another hour. Finally, Griffie and my husband staggered out of bed.

Our routine goes like this...first thing, change Griffin's wet diaper. Then feed him.

So I did what I always do. I laid him on the family room floor and unzipped his jammies, unsnapped his onesie (his room is freakishly cold) and flung off his diaper. Cause why wouldn't I? It's always just wet. And you can smell poop, so you know when you have to take extra precautions and lay down a mat or put the child on an Official Changing Table.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

So you can imagine how shocked and disgusted I was after I flung the diaper to realize there was poop in it! And of course, irritated that his onesie now had poop on it. And probably a little on my hand, too.

Well, I cleaned it all up, put him in his new diaper and took the dirty stuff out to the kitchen porch. We put poopy diapers in a grocery bag on the back porch and then take them down to the garbage cans when we go out.

I went and washed my hands. You can feel the suspense building, can't you?

I walked back in to the family room. Griffin was toddling around the coffee table with his binky still in his mouth (thank GOD for that).

And a poop in his hand.

OH MY GOD. Somehow, when I flung the diaper, a turd flung out and landed on the floor, and I didn't see it...or smell it! Griffin found it while I was in the kitchen. We spent the next fifteen minutes scrubbing his hands and the floor, the coffee table, my arms...wherever I looked I got the heebie jeebies! Yuck. Only one other time have I had such a gross poop incident, and it was when Cooper pooped in the tub.

Yeah, you'd think that was the end of our poopscapades for the day, huh? Nah, you'd be wrong.

We all got dressed then, coats on, ready to go out the door for our morning breakfast ritual. My husband grabbed Cooper's shoes by the door to put them on him....and grabbed poop shoes. Cooper's shoe was covered in dog poop. We had played outside yesterday afternoon and he must have spent quite a bit of time dancing in dog poop.

The worst part is that when he came inside, he took his own shoes off right away like a good boy. And I never noticed the dog poop. Maybe there's something wrong with my sinuses?

I've already gotten out the carpet shampooer. I'll be spending most of today sanitizing this disgusting poop house. Yay for me!

Heatherty Featherty